Grown-ups have really screwed up Valentine’s Day. We've made it into an expensive holiday fraught with romantic landmines. But kids, as usual, have it all figured out -- it’s nothing but a day filled with fun candy and crafts.

If you're longing to get back to those heart-filled glory days? It turns out there’s a lot you can learn about how to properly celebrate from the time-honored children's ritual of exchanging valentines in class.

It’s about including everyone

Rule number one of elementary school valentines is that everyone in the class gets one. It’s not about being someone’s one and only or picking favorites like a too-cool mean girl. It’s about spreading the love to everyone in the room, whether you love them or not.

Sure, it can be a challenge to think of something nice to say to the kid who sits next to you and picks his nose or the teacher whose homework assignments make your life hell. But it’s a good exercise to spend a day trying to see the best in people.

Valentine's letter from kid to teacher

It’s about friendship

When you’re a grown-up, Valentine’s Day is all about you and your one and only. If you’re alone, it can be misery. If you’re paired up, the pressure cooker of built-up expectations can ruin what would otherwise be just a fun night out. Kids don’t have to sweat being paired up, though, and neither should you. It’s a day about giving your friends a little token of affection and eating some candy. No crying in your wine allowed, plenty of lollipops and laughs required.

It’s about being creative

At this point, Valentine’s Day has become so commercialized that you might feel like you’ve got to buy your beloved a big chunk of diamond or a brand new car to do it right. But forget that. Go back to basics. When it comes to classroom cards, the more handmade the better. And same goes for grown-up gifts. It is the thought -- and only the thought -- that counts.

Bonus points if you can find a funny or touching way of revealing your love. You can take inspiration from the many children who’ve taken a stab at trying to woo their crushes.

My wife found this love note on the floor of the elementary school she works at.

It's about being sweet

Many of us have fallen into the trap that Valentine’s Day is all about seduction and sexy times. We spend hundreds of dollars on chic lingerie and expensive body oils. Fine, if that’s your thing and you’re in a position to get some action. But for the rest of us, take a lesson from the children and never forget that candy is delicious. There is no better love to celebrate than your love of pure, unadulterated sugar.

It's about excitement

Remember the thrill of making your little mailbox out of a paper bag and watching it fill up with all those tiny little envelopes from your classmates? The anticipation of opening them all when you got home, especially if you had a crush and were hoping to get a secret message of love?

Nothing in adulthood can quite match the excitement of those early days, but even if you can recapture a fraction of it, you’re off to a good start. This is a particularly good lesson for those in long-term relationships where lives are busy and Valentine’s is just another day, and for those who aren’t expecting anything from anyone.

As kids everywhere will prove tomorrow, Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to involve spending loads of money or doing anything extraordinary. So feel free to check your cynicism and hectic schedules and unrealistic expectations at the classroom door. Valentine’s Day when done right is just about making other people feel loved and allowing yourself to have a little fun.

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