We need Celebrity Deathmatchmore than ever.

Deplatformed Infowars host Alex Jones and the Senate's most milquetoast Senator, Marco Rubio, got into it today after Jones confronted Rubio in front of the press. Rubio, clearly irritated by Jones' loud interruptions while being interviewed, threatened to "handle" Jones himself after the host touched him.

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Jones pressed Rubio on why he wasn't doing more to protect conservative voices from being silenced on Facebook. Rubio then reacted after Jones touched his shoulder, and the whole thing quickly became a high school locker room showdown.

"You're not gonna get arrested man," Rubio told Jones after the host accused Rubio of wanting to do just that.

Rubio pledged to not call the cops. "I'll handle it myself," Rubio said.

"Oh, he'll beat me up," Jones replied before calling him a "little gangster thug."

OK, big guy.

Can you imagine how bad this fight would be if either of them had the courage to make it happen? Sure, Jones has a significant weight advantage over Rubio, but he's also terrified of gay frogs.

Meanwhile, Rubio is a functional invertebrate in Congress. I know cocktail shrimp with more backbone than him. He'd tank in the ring, preferring to attack his opponent with Old Testament subtweets.

If nothing else, this confrontation succeeded in making us all even more embarrassed for America than we ever were before. And Alex Jones appears to have spent the rest of the afternoon mad.

Alex Jones is currently yelling at me pic.twitter.com/wNqCg9I6dt

— Oliver Darcy (@oliverdarcy) September 5, 2018

Hell: 1, America: 0.